January 23, 2008

Girls in Special Education

Melody’s birthday was this month. She was my daughter, taught me everything I know that is important, and was in special education from the moment it began- 1976. For more about her see www.melodyaronscenter.org. Most of what we read concerns boys in special education because there are so many more of them than girls. Research talks about how many girls’ problems are overlooked because they don’t display acting out behaviors as often as male students. Melody’s was my first special education case because her Dad and I were opposed to the program being provided to her. Ultimately we took her out of school, home schooled her, and finally filed for due process to make our school district implement a different program so that she could return to school. She had no role models. Her speech mimicked the boys she was with all day, the only girl in the classroom. When we spoke with her about such things as history, geography and science she stamped her foot and informed me there was no such thing. Finally, when a member of her child study team told me that she was so pretty I shouldn’t worry because someone would marry and take care of her I knew it was time to do something drastic.

Over the years there have been several cases involving girls in special education that are memorable. Six were deaf cases, three of the six triplet sisters. Several were multiply handicapped with retardation and language problems. Two were extraordinarily gifted with emotional and social problems. Dozens had forms of dyslexia. Some had severe ADHD. It is a long list of every disability category spanning 1978- 1998. But beyond the school problems there was the issue of exactly what individually designed instruction was required in order to meet the needs of girls. This remains a hot button issue for this historical moment of sexual display and turning seven year olds into beauty queens.

Consider…

Menstruation starts earlier now, the age range between 9-12. This is a complicated and scary experience for the child, a milestone for the family, and educationally relevant for the school. Teaching the girl to take care of her needs in school is a life skill that I’ve had to fight for in IEPs countless times. It involves fine motor, organizational skills, the ability to initiate an activity- you get the idea.

Social skills increasingly depend on culture, religion, geography, and family values. The instructional issue is determining what should be worn to school, how much skin to show and where. When young girls do not have emotional and intellectual security they have their “Brittany” moment and consistently emulate the role models society features most. Sexual experimentation at earlier ages is common. For independence and self-sufficiency each girl must learn to inhibit impulse. In countless IEP meetings I have insisted on dating goals, reading body language between boys and girls, how to use language to navigate boy-girl friendships and acquaintances- how to say “No”. One of my earliest cases, about 1980, was a 13- year old girl in a nearby community who had been gang raped behind the district’s elementary school. School officials said that she had agreed to have sex with the boys and never said no. She was lonely, she said, and nobody liked her. She thought that this was a way to change that. Many other girls have told me similar stories with variations on this theme over the years.

When a girl does not do well academically, has poor self-esteem, and has few if any friends, the inevitable specter of promiscuity, pregnancy, AIDS, and all of the related problems loom large without intervention. Just a few years ago I consulted on a case concerning an 18 year old who had sex with her vocational teacher in order to pass, but could not read. I know this is a sensitive topic from many points of view. But the old adage that it is the girl who gets pregnant still remains.

Our girls will be our mothers of the next generation of children. How we teach them to respect themselves, their bodies, their minds and spirits, how to have fun and be happy by doing a wide variety of activities flows from their feeling of success and equality at school. Nothing said here is new. But so much time is spent on examining reasons so many boys are in special education that we must periodically stop and think explicitly about the girls. They arrive at equal opportunity through a different biological and emotional route than boys. Their brains are different than boys. They have the same unlimited potential in any career they choose, but to get there requires planning that recognizes these differences.